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By Eoin McCambridge
Don't see Cats. I went to see it cause i was expecting to see a film like The Room, a film so bad its enjoyable, in the same way you cant help but look at a car crash taking place. Its horrible but you're gripped by it. In reality Cats isn't that type of movie. Its just plain terrible and just boring. So boring in fact that I left the cinema after an hour of watching it. Keep that in mind while reading my review, i haven't actually seen the whole film, but know the reason for that is because I was so disengaged with the parts I saw that I felt the film was beyond transformation into an enjoyable experience. Ok. Lets go
Cats is the new film from Oscar winning director Tom Hooper (The Kings Speech, Les Miserables etc) and is based on the hit broadway musical of the same name by Andrew Lloyd Webber (which is itself based on a book of poetry by T.S Elliot). I haven't seen it myself but by all accounts the Cats musical is very good. Does that mean a good film? Of course not. In fact the very idea that this musical would translate well to cinema seems to have been flawed from the beginning. Cats defies all sense of cinematic structure, tone and narrative. The entire 'narrative' (and i struggle to call it that) consists of a bunch of musical set pieces compiled together with little to no dialogue in between these musical numbers. Characters are introduced, sing their song saying who they are and then disappear for twenty minutes until they sing another song. The tone violently shifts depending on what song is to be sung next. It feels like they have the soundtrack on a checklist and just want to get it all out of the way with within an allocated time. It feels then that after a compilation of music pieces stitched together someone was told to attempt to make a story out of it and what you get is barely that. Its something about all the cats want to go to a ball so that they can pick the best cat but Macavity, portrayed by Idris Elba, is an evil cat so he tries making the other cats disappear because he is an evil cat and he wants to be declared the best cat, i don't know. That's what i gathered from the singing and dancing that makes up almost the entirety of the film. Basically there's no reason to be invested. The film feels like that Family Guy cut away about the extended intro of the TV show Maude where the singing goes on for like feels like forever, with Peter Griffin angrily expecting it to finish but it never does.
Idris Elba isn't the only talented actor involved. Ian McKellan and Judi Dench take up roles too but sadly arent given good enough material to work with. It also features roles filled by celebrities Taylor Swift, Jason Derulo, Jennifer Hudson and James Corden but these glorified cameos also contribute to the poor pacing. They come, sing a song, disappear for no reason, and so on and so on. The tone will also shift for the umpteenth time depending on what character were dealing with, interrupting the very poor attempt at a plot. Once again, there's nothing to be interested in.
The film is just boring. Don't see Cats.
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